Am I aware of___?
Acknowledgements and dedications
This blog is dedicated to my loved ones, including my dear mother, beloved father, supportive brothers, grandmothers, grandfathers, aunties, uncles, friends from all walks of life as well as my wonderful life partner, Stewtea. Special thanks to God, the Universe, and my beloved higher Self and my not-always-humble egotistical self, which are mirrors of the same thing to me, but I’ll speak more on that later :)
I also dedicate this blog to people who are yet to be my loved ones and to people I have found difficult to love, which could be due to my own love blockages or them not loving themselves, but besides that, they could very possibly be lovable. I wish them well.
I sincerely thank them and you, kind reader, for gifting me your time and energy. You have all gifted, and will continue to gift me, loving awareness even when I am not yet aware of it.
WHY READ THIS BLOG?
Developing self-awareness has been a goal pursued by uncountable souls over the course of history. It is not an easy task, but it is definitely well-worth the effort and pursuit. Plus, it is arguably the main purpose of the soul; to self-actualise.
This little manifesto of mine is my attempt at adding another item to the toolkit of harnessing and sculpting self-awareness using my unique perspective and voice as well as developing awareness in general, which I sincerely hope will guide people to creating inner and outer peace, harmony with nature, and achieving fulfillment on all levels, as they see fit of course.
I also dream of children and young learners attending a permanent and highly recognised module in educational institutes and schools entitled, ‘Awareness Skills’ or ‘Developing Unconditional Positive Regard’ (“a concept developed by the humanistic psychologist, Carl Rogers, which is the basic acceptance and support of a person regardless of what the person says or does, especially in the context of client-centred therapy”, according to Wikipedia), which should be treated as important, if not the most important, module that would ever be universally taught. Imagine a world with that type of understanding and transcendence in consciousness…
I believe that this type of education and knowledge might just bring us ever closer to true world peace and universal sustainability. That’s just my humble opinion :), but many great minds think so too!
HOW IT ALL BEGAN
“I send loving awareness to all beings in this world.” A statement I kept repeating to myself as I sat in an Uber ride to Muizenberg, Cape Town, while half-listening to a radio show that is sharing gender-based violence stories. The hosts asked the listeners to send WhatsApp voicenotes to the channel recounting whether their perpetrators felt any guilt or shame after meeting their victims again. Most, if not all, clearly did not feel any guilt whatsoever. So, I kept thinking to myself that it cannot be that all these perpetrators are just evil. I know that good and evil is such a huge debatable topic, but to me, all criminals are just emotionally wounded children in adult form that have messed up beliefs about the world around them. Hence, my conclusion was that they are just clearly unaware of themselves or their actions, which is another way of saying that they are dangerously stupid.
This issue reminded me of a recent argument with a friend. He was constantly interrupting and shutting down my ideas when we discussed controversial subjects that we had different views on. Instead of maintaining an open mind, we were both becoming emotionally charged. Unfortunately, he decided to try calming me down by interrupting me mid-sentence and saying that I’m just imagining that he’s not listening. Sadly, he was just unaware of himself and his actions, which is easy to say about other people, but a lot harder to notice about one’s self. To me, being unaware of one’s self, including one’s actions, emotions, behaviours, and consequences are some of the worst self-sabotaging traps that we are currently experiencing as a collective human species.
Lack of self-awareness can hurt one’s self, others, the environment and so much more. “How can I help people develop more self-awareness?”, I constantly wondered. “Including awareness of other people’s experiences, emotions, and lives? What about the experiences of animals, the ocean, and the entire universe?”. If there is a solution to anything whatsoever, I honestly believe it starts with awareness. If anyone wishes to begin solving a problem or addressing a situation, they have to first identify it, characterise it, and be aware of it in the moment, or at least soon after. Being aware of how one is acting, thinking, and feeling can set us free to explore the truth and eventually change.
Before I get ahead of myself with this enormously important topic, let me introduce to you who I am.
I am Dr. Mariam Awlia. Why do I mention my title? Because I am aware of my tendency to minimise myself and avoid displaying my achievements and feeling proud of who I am. I repeat, I am proud of what I have accomplished thus far, where I come from, and where I’d like to go. So, this is an example of me acting on my own awareness. Nobody needs to approve of it, like it, or emulate it. I am just practising what I am preaching on a very small scale. However, the beauty of awareness is that it is ever-expanding! Hence, what you and I are currently aware of will eventually include more aspects of life as we place more awareness energy onto the different facets of life to transcend our experience evermore.
I grew up in beautiful sunny Saudi Arabia, in Jeddah specifically. Jeddah is such an interesting multicultural and historically-rich cosmopolitan city on the stunning Red Sea. Growing up there taught me so many things that I was hardly unaware of until I was met with the opposites or the relative differences across a spectrum of what I was taught or had experienced. What I mean is that the duality of life and the contrast of experiences in which we find ourselves in help one grow tremendously in terms of awareness and understanding, just because we actually notice the differences by contrast. Some people take that to be an excuse to hate, be bitter, be the victim, or run away, while some people choose to be grateful, be in awe, and be vehicle for change in others.
I would love to share my story of who I am, which I hope will open your eyes to a different perspective and help you begin applying this little self-awareness practice that I started using on myself.
I implore you though, to practice it with me. As you read this blog, I will discuss many topics that touch upon various aspects of life, especially what tickles my fancy, but do continue to ask yourself, “Am I aware of ___”? and just fill in the blank. I will explain this in greater detail soon enough, but just try asking yourself this question as you read. I promise it will develop into becoming a very interesting and insightful self-practice that can highlight to you the good, the bad, and perhaps the ugly, but at least you’ll know what you’re dealing with :)